I’ve had the experience over the past two days of being shown that I am wrong.
I have long held the belief that people don’t actually like being told what to do, that they can think for themselves, that they WANT to do things for themselves.
I’ve held this belief counter what many people were asking of me.
I’ve held this belief counter to what I now understand to be completely valid professional advice.
Turns out I’m wrong. Very wrong.
The only person who doesn’t like to be told what and how to do things is me. And I’m an outlier.
Yes, I know I’m not unique in this. But I’ve yet to meet anyone who holds to this as strongly as I do. But I know there are others and they probably fall into the Rebel tendency of Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies.
I happen to be a Questioner with a Rebel overlap. I’ve written about this before. If you want me to do as I’m told, I have to both ask you tell me and then you have to convince me.
Good luck with that.
But I get it. I think. People want easy. You want it done for you. You don’t want to think about what to eat or why or when. You want to be told and given that direction. And for a multitude of completely valid and human reasons.
I’ll admit to having a hard time empathizing with people who can’t make themselves do things. Not because I ALWAYS can make myself do things, but because once I’ve decided there is literally no stopping me. It’s the deciding part that can trip ME up.
In a way, I envy those of you who can simply say “tell me what to do” and can then just do it. I don’t say that to diminish in any way what appears to me as an easy accountability.
I know it’s not easy. For me, it’s the deciding that isn’t easy. For me, it’s the following directions that’s hard. As soon as someone else is telling me what to do, I will find ways to subvert it.
Exhibit A as to why I did not join the military.
I’ve fallen into the trap of thinking everyone is like me. You aren’t.
So consider this my apology and my commitment to doing better, to giving you what you need in order to be successful.
The different in me honors the different in you.