Last week I posted about appreciation and I intend, going forward, to do a weekly appreciation post. But for this week, I want to talk about my Achille’s Heel: deciding.
I’ve talked about the fact that I’m a Questioner with Rebel tendencies in various places over the past year or so. (If you want to find out where you fall in the 4 Tendencies, something I highly recommend as knowing this is extremely helpful when it comes to habits, change, and just knowing how you handle internal and external expectations, go here. It’s a free quiz and very insightful.) How that appears is like this: I have a VERY hard time deciding on things that matter (trivial things like what to wear I don’t struggle with) and I do NOT like being told what or how to do things unless I ask for that guidance. There is, however, no guarantee that I’ll take your advice, though, because I’m a Questioner and I have to weigh that against all of the other info.
In other words, it is often a mess and I struggle. HARD. I’m told it’s very tedious to watch as well. Fortunately, the people closest to me have already figured out that me struggling is part of the process and that the best thing they can do is just be present for me. And I LOVE them for it.
This past fall I started using the mantra “I am decisive” while meditating. I am one of those people who find it easiest to focus my brain on specific words while meditating because otherwise I’m just quietly daydreaming. I struggled with meditation for a few years before I realized that mantras work best for the way my mind works so I embraced it. As soon as I started using this particular mantra, something clicked. For a short time, I stopped dragging my feet and ruminating and just started making decisions, understanding that just because I decided something didn’t mean I couldn’t change my mind.
Wait, I can change my mind?! I’m allowed to do that?!
This past week I got sick of the struggle. On Wednesday, I decided to start deciding again. I started with deciding that meditation is in my best interest. So Thursday morning, I meditated while the coffee was brewing. Thursday I decided that writing daily is in my best interest. So Friday morning, I meditated while my coffee was brewing, then made my first cup of coffee and did a single page AKA Morning Pages in my journal. Friday night I decided that daily movement (in some form) is in my best interest, so I got up early to meditate, write, and get a workout in before my day started yesterday.
What I’ve come to realize and accept is that for me, deciding is a muscle. For best results, I have to exercise it daily. And for a Questioner, deciding is THE biggest hurdle to clear when it comes to success. Because once we’ve decided something is in our best interest, there isn’t much that can stop us. While consistency gets all the attention, and it is VERY important, deciding daily is what KEEPS me consistent.
Have you taken Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies Quiz? If you’re struggling with consistency, I invite you to do so and post in the comments where you fall and what you’re struggling with. I’ll respond with my best suggestions.